A couple of weeks ago my commitment of watching my grandson
full time ended, his mother is staying home with him for a few weeks before
starting a new job and he goes off to Montessori school, letting me get back to
writing, picking up where I left off last summer. Well, not exactly where I
left off. I have been doing some soul searching and meditating on just what it
is I am trying to accomplish with my writing and whether or not I think I can.
My conclusion? Yes, I can become a successful author and
getting published is my definition of success. To clarify published means
selling a short story to a publication, and writing a novel and selling it to a
publisher. I know I can accomplish both of these goals; I just need to focus
and do the work.
And, not let fear derail my efforts! For it is fear that
prevents us from accomplishing so many of our dreams, so many of our goals. The
trick is how to keep the fear, which dwells inside all of us, providing both
the urge to flee from our goals (my speaking in front of the class is not going
to happen, even if it means failing, I am out of here), and the stillness of
perceived safety (if I stay motionless perhaps the professor will not call on
me) at bay. The question then becomes how to circumnavigate it, how to break
free of its clutching tendrils, clinging and twisting around our psychic, until
our minds are numb with the immobility of stagnant water.
It’s done by leaping into the holding pond, splashing and
cavorting, kicking down the dam until the water busts forth arching in a cascade
of sparkling life giving freedom. So to that end I pinch my nose take a deep
breath and jump, committing myself to writing on a daily basis, to finishing my
blog story ‘The Inheritance’, to writing short stories and a novel.
